The Audition
by lavendergloves
Summary: AU. Auditions for the school play turn Emily's world upside down in a way she never expected...
1. Chapter 1: Invisible

There were certain advantages to being invisible... the most obvious being that no one sees you. There was a certain comfort in that— in not being seen, or judged.

This was mostly true for Emily Fitch who for most of her life was content being the perpetual shadow of her twin sister, Katie. It gave her the freedom to observe things, see things without being noticed. There was however one person in particular who caught her eye. Tall, silky blonde hair, curves in the right places, the perfect icy blue eyes...

'Fuck!' Emily thinks as a rush of panic overtakes her system: _Naomi had caught her again_. 'Shit shit shit.'

She looks away swiftly, averting her eyes back to her locker, feeling completely and utterly stupid. It's the third time this week that their eyes have met. Once, may be considered an accident, twice coincidence, but thrice in a fucking week spoke serial stalker potential in Emily's book.

She couldn't help it though, how can she possibly marvel at those lovely pale blue eyes without, well… looking at them?

Emily decided to make sense of things by looking at the situation more rationally: Naomi Campbell was bright, beautiful, and talented. And then there was her: Emily Fitch, the bland and less interesting version of her twin Katie— the last person anyone would pay even the slightest attention to in Roundview.

"Right." She mumbles to herself, she intended to walk away but a nagging voice in her head kept her rooted to the spot and urged her to make sure, because really there was no harm in that is there?

She looks up to see Naomi looking at her. Those pale blue eyes seemingly transfixed for some reason. Emily meant to steal just a small glance, but looking turned into staring, and lingered for a while before she realized that Naomi's mouth was about to curl into a beautiful... _smile_? Was Naomi actually smiling at her?

"Ow!" sudden pain surges through Emily's left shoulder as a random tosser came running out of nowhere and hit her hard with a binder.

"Sorry," he said hurriedly, not even waiting for any kind of acknowledgment.

Hot pain seared through her skin, and she couldn't help but wish that he would fall over and break a leg or even both on his way to class.

"Are you alright Emily?" JJ asked as he approached her, a look of concern growing in his eyes.

"Yeah I'm fi—"

"Fuck... he... I think he cut you... you're bleeding."

"What?"

"Your arm," he points, "blood."

"Shit." She muttered. The binder tore through her blouse, which produced a tiny cut that bled through the fabric.

When all the commotion had subsided, Emily's eyes swept across the room, Naomi had gone, and she was back to being invisible again.

* * *

><p>The bathroom was empty save for Emily. Staring at herself in the mirror, she surveys the damage done to her arm; she reaches out slowly to touch the gash on her freshly scraped skin and instantly regrets her decision as she winces from the pain.<p>

"Christ." Emily hears someone mutter from behind her. She whips her head around to see Naomi standing mere inches away from her. Emily feels her pulse quicken, and her senses heighten.

"That wanker was fucking careless." The blonde continued as she walked closer to Emily, seemingly oblivious to the surprised look on Emily's face. The faint smell of vanilla filled the air... Naomi smelled like vanilla, Emily notes.

"Yeah... yeah he was." was all Emily could manage. Suddenly Naomi's confidence wavers as she mistakes Emily's nervousness for lack of recognition.

"Uh sorry, I... I'm Naomi we have—"

"Politics together." Emily finished for her, looking amused.

"And English, and History." Naomi added with a small smile, her cheeks noticeably flushed though Emily couldn't think of a reason why they would be.

"I know."

They smile at each other for a while and Emily could have sworn Naomi was about to say something else when she hears JJ calling from her from outside. "_Emily, we're going to be late._"

"I— I have to go." She says reluctantly.

"See you 'round Emily."

* * *

><p>Everything afterwards felt like a haze for Emily. She thinks it was probably a fluke— Naomi talking to her. A one time thing that will never happen again... ever.<p>

She kept replaying the moment over and over in her mind, each time there was the same overwhelming feeling that her heart was about to burst.

Maybe the universe was being kind to her today or something... maybe.

* * *

><p>Earlier today Katie had gotten into a fight with her current boyfriend, Matt, who was obviously evil, if not for his blinding good looks and angelic smile.<p>

Today he had unceremoniously kicked her out of the car half way across town. JJ had been nice enough to offer to help Emily pick her up, and though Katie could be a complete cow sometimes, Emily knew she was very grateful for the trouble they went through to get her home safely.

When they found her, Katie was sitting by the sidewalk, sobbing, mascara running and short of breath from all the crying.

"You're going to leave him right?" Emily asked, as she helped her sister up to her feet.

Silence; then an imperceptible nod.

"Let's go home."

* * *

><p>"Guess who's in charge of this year's play?" the question came out of nowhere.<p>

"What?" Emily asks distractedly. The first ten minutes of the car ride were spent in silence and now Emily was far too distracted with what happened earlier to focus on anything JJ was saying.

"The school play Emily..." he repeated but all she could do was continue to stare. It takes a beat before finally he supplies, "Ef... Effy's directing it."

"Well that was unexpected." Emily says, "Effy Stonem back so soon."

"Suicide girl?" Katie asked sounding every bit as surprised as her sister. She shifted uncomfortably in the back seat waiting for an answer. JJ and Emily simply give her a disgusted look.

"What? Just trying to help your conversation along." she says, as she crosses her arms defensively. Emily could tell it was taking just about all of Katie's energy not to hurl any kind of insult at them.

"Yeah her." JJ replied weakly. Jay liked Effy, they shared a few classes together and he had the biggest crush on when they first began college.

Emily didn't believe that Effy was to blame for what happened. It certainly wasn't the girl's fault that her boyfriend was murdered... wasn't her fault that because of all the chaos in her life, she kind of wanted to escape reality... just run away.

"They're holding auditions next week." JJ's words snapped Emily out of her thoughts. Something clicked inside her; she realized that this was her chance not to be invisible anymore... she was tempted in fact.

The question was: _would she actually go through with it?_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thoughts? Please review :)<em>**


	2. Chapter 2: Now or Never

_**Thank you all so much for the great feedback and reviews. I'm so happy that you liked the story so far, it made me want to write this chapter ASAP (I know, very geeky of me). I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.**_

_**Tell me what you think afterwards, please?**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Audition<strong>

There were at least a million reasons why Emily shouldn't be doing this, all of them she had conveniently chosen to ignore of course until this very moment.

"Maybe this is a bad idea." She says half-heartedly, before sitting at the edge of her bed, shoulders slumped and face looking defeated.

"Too late now loser," Katie said rather distractedly as she sorted through a pile of clothes in her closet. It didn't take very long before she shoved a beautiful green top into Emily's hands along with nice looking gold hoop earrings. Emily fidgets with the jewelry, her thoughts drifting miles away.

"You are going to do fine Ems, what's the big deal? You've been doing this since forever. You're always amazing!"

Emily blinked as Katie said this. Her twin wasn't exactly big on giving compliments so on the rare occasions that she did, it never fails to leave Emily a little dumbstruck.

"What?" Katie asked expectantly, shifting her eyes from her sister to the top. Emily blinked again, more rapidly this time, trying her best to collect herself, not wanting the situation to become awkward.

"I.. I can't wear this. I'll look like a bleeding Christmas tree."

"Fine," with a huff Katie swept it from her hands and replaced it with a pale pink top, Emily was about to open her mouth again to complain when Katie shot her a stare which clearly meant death if she protested.

A few seconds later Emily stood in front of the mirror, expecting that she'd look like a cross between a fluffy strawberry dessert and a baby prostitute, but to her surprise the look actually worked... like a more polished version of herself somehow.

"Thank you." she hugged her sister, and Katie let her.

"Slay them okay?"

"I'll try."

* * *

><p>To describe Emily as nervous would have been the understatement of the century.<p>

Her palms were sweaty; her heart was pounding so fast it felt like it was trying to escape her body, and she had been pacing every chance she could since yesterday.

She had the lines down, yes, but that wasn't quite enough. She was trying very hard to internalize the lines, to understand, to just be the person she had to play.

Yes, she had done acting before, but it was never anything she would call serious. It was always just for fun, a way to get her out of her shell and most important of all, it was something that she was actually better at than Katie.

But to do this; to pursue it with so much purpose and passion seemed overwhelming.

"Emily? EMILY!"

"Hmm?"

"Ems why don't you just... relax," JJ said as they made their way to one of the tables for lunch. She merely nodded, not really paying attention to what he was saying; only catching a few of his words here and there.

"Oh that table's filthy, we can't eat there." JJ shakes his head pointing to the table in front of them, and Emily nods in agreement lost in her own thoughts.

"Let's just go back the other wa—"

There was a flash before it happened and Emily's voice almost cracks as a hollow scream escapes her mouth. It was unthinkable.

JJ had collided into her, effectively spilling his drink onto her clothes. It was bright red ironically.

She tried her best to clean it off, but the blasted stain didn't seem to budge._ 'Perfect just fucking perfect_.'

A wave of panic surges through Emily's system. The audition was about to start in 15 minutes and there was no way she could show up looking the way she did.

"Don't worry Ems, I have an idea."

She looks at him for a second before she nods, "Okay."

* * *

><p><em>Fuck JJ and his bloody ideas...<em>

"A jumper?" Emily asked wearily, "Really?"

"It's clean." JJ clarified looking hopeful, as he handed it to Emily.

She was going to be late, and she was running out of options. It was either this or... well... _naked_.

"Fine," Emily said hurriedly. She's got bigger fish to fry.

* * *

><p>She walked into the room feeling completely out of her depth, though it didn't really help that she was clad in an over-sized shirt which made her look twice as small as she already was. The space was completely empty, save for three people who she assumed were in charge of casting the play. Emily was the last to audition.<p>

"Name?"

"Uh... Emily. Emily Fitch." She watches as a very composed looking Effy Stonem scribbles her name onto a piece of paper, and the two other students beside her do the same. She notices a scar on Effy's wrist, and wonders how sad she must have been... how much it must have hurt.

"Right, Emily, start when you're ready."

There was just something about the way Effy effortlessly exuded an air of indifference which intimidated the hell out of Emily. It makes her shift her eyes from object to object in the room, before she finally settles on the floor.

'_Now or never_,' she thinks.

A deep breath and...

She stammers through the first few lines.

"Sorry," she said feebly. This was clearly a big mistake and Emily was ready to walk away.

"It's alright, try again." Effy didn't seemed fazed, but she was staring so intently that Emily involuntarily took a step backward.

The room was silent, deafening almost. Emily took a moment to collect herself. _'GET A GRIP AND FUCKING FOCUS!'_

She says the lines again, this time slower, more precise.

The scene she had chosen to read was raw and impossibly sad— it was almost too much to bear. She had it all down, practiced, and polished, even to the smallest little detail. But something happened... something she couldn't explain; it was as if a fire had ignited within her and for the first time in the longest time she was consumed.

Emily found herself shaking at first, then she felt a tear roll down her face, then another, and then the scene was over. She had lost control.

The room was still silent when she was done, no uncomfortable cough or poorly hidden snort, yet Emily suddenly felt self-conscious. She looked up wiping her cheek with her sleeve, "Sorry. Was that better?"

It took a beat before Effy answered, a knowing smirk on her face, "Much."

* * *

><p>The list was already up early the next morning.<p>

Emily would have loved to say that it she didn't care... but she did.

Thoughts of yesterday continued to race through her mind. The sudden rush of emotion, the crying... She'd never felt so vulnerable before, so exposed... _never_.

It was so unlike her. So new. All that time preparing completely wasted.

She starts reading the names from the bottom.

Three names up, then five, then eight... still no Emily. She bit her lip, and began to worry; maybe she didn't make the cut after all.

She reads through five more... and still no luck, then there were only two left. Her heart sank, and then it began to ache. Might as well see who the leads are:

.

.

.

_Naomi Campbell_

_._

_._

_._

And at the very top:

.

.

.

_... Emily Fitch_


	3. Chapter 3: Between the Lines

_**Thank you so much for taking the time to read, thank you as well to those who took the time to write reviews, I feel so lucky to have such amazing and generous readers. This chapter came out shorter than I expected because I had to cut it into two parts. I do hope you have the patience to stick around for the next installment. Be seeing you soon!**_

_**PS. Please tell me what you think about this one :)**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Audition<strong>

_What exactly do you do when the day you thought would never come suddenly arrives?_

(Because right now, Emily had no clue whatsoever.)

"Who else is in it?" JJ asks as they sat down for lunch.

Emily hesitates for a moment, "Naomi."

"Hold on, Naomi? _Ice Queen Naomi?_"

She merely looks at him not quite sure whether to agree or argue, but in the end she gives him a feeble nod.

"I didn't know she could act?"

"Me neither," she agrees. JJ let's her eat in silence for a while before he blurts out, "I moan!"

"What?"

"Naomi spelled backwards is IMOAN." He says innocently in a matter-of-fact kind of way, making Emily laugh so hard soda almost comes out of her nose.

"She is quite beautiful though." He later adds.

Emily looks at him thoughtfully, JJ was right about that too.

* * *

><p><em>"I TOLD YOU!"<em>

"Katie..."

_"OH MY GOD EMS!"_

"Katie, _you... are crushing me_!"

It takes quite a bit of effort before she finally squirms out of her sister's grip; both of them wearing the same goofy smile on their faces afterwards.

"So have you thought about what you're going to tell mum?"

"What?"

"We're supposed to go on holiday remember and this—"

"Oh shit." Emily didn't really think that far ahead. _Fuck_.

* * *

><p>It was about three days later when Effy asks to see them. Emily was rushing from her last class, when she catches a glimpse of Effy and Naomi sitting across from each other reading through the lines. Her heart pounds the moment she realizes that it was only going to be the three of them, the sound so strong it fills her ears.<p>

Effy sees her and beckons for her to join them while Naomi read through the rest of the scene. The first time Emily sees her perform she understood immediately why Naomi was there. She was so confident, so exact, so deliberate... a different kind of intense.

"Okay, that was great. Now I want you to read together," Effy leafs through the script, "Scene four."

The scene was rough for a cold read but they managed to do it well, with only minor flubs here and there which in the end were barely even noticeable. Emily feels her stomach flip over when Naomi shoots her a smile right after the scene.

"Something's wrong." Effy said shaking her head.

"Excuse me?" Naomi scowled.

"It feels like something's off. It doesn't seem real enough."

"Of course it doesn't, it's acting." Naomi replied dryly, sharp crystal ice lacing her every word.

"That's not what I meant." Effy rolls her eyes ever so slowly, "there's no honesty... no..." she starts to pace, "warmth."

Emily shifts uncomfortably in her seat, the truth was, she wasn't really a hundred percent sure she even said the words correctly, let alone delivered a decent line. She couldn't hear herself think with both Effy and Naomi in the same room with her... in fact she might as well have been speaking gibberish.

"Listen, you two play best friends. For this to work, you have to sound more _intimate_..."

"Sorry?" They both say almost simultaneously, a hint of a blush streaking across their faces.

Effy raises an eyebrow; she could tell this was going to be difficult. "I'm just trying to say that you're both practically strangers and_ it shows._"

When the read through was over, Emily suddenly felt as if she needed time to slow for a while, even just a little, because she desperately needed a moment to sort things out

It seemed like she was weighed down by one problem piled on top of the other, just threatening to make her crumble. For starters she still hadn't told her parents about the play, or the need for her to stay behind during the Summer Holiday to rehearse. Then there was the play itself, and the enigma that was Effy, and of course there was Naomi who she couldn't function properly around.

She sighs, running a hand through her bright red hair.

_'Be careful what you wish for, you might not know what to do with yourself when it comes true.'_

* * *

><p>It was pouring outside, the rain drumming a maddening beat on the roof and on the concrete. The college was mostly empty by now, and Emily couldn't help but giggle as she realizes that it would be the perfect setting for a cheap slasher movie.<p>

She walks on a bit more before she finally settles on an empty room at the far end of the corridor and closes the door behind her.

"Hi."

Emily nearly jumps out of her skin. She spins around; her heart feeling like it was now lodged in her throat.

"You scared me!" she breathes, finding it ridiculous how her pulse had gone twice as fast in mere seconds. It was her eyes... that wonderful shade of blue that made her nerves violently jitter with no sign of ever calming.

"Sorry," Naomi holds Emily's gaze for a moment before quickly looking away.

"What are you doing here?" the redhead asked lightly. She gives a nervous smile, feet frozen to the spot, as she tries her best not to look at Naomi too intensely.

"Thinking about earlier... what Effy said," Naomi furrows her brow a little, "She was talking about me you know? _I_ sound cold."

"Naomi she wasn't— "

"Because she was definitely not talking about you... you were just..." she sighs out of frustration, and shoots Emily a sideways glance, "I mean how _do_ you do that?"

"Do what?"

"I don't know... whatever it is, you're making me look bad."

This made Emily laugh, they both do and just like that the tension between them lifts. Naomi's eyes follow the small redhead as she walks across the room and sits by the chair next to hers.

"I want this to work Emily."

"I do too... that's why... that's why I think we should spend more time together."

"Pardon?"

"You heard Effy, we have to actually know each other for things to work properly and... I don't know... It's a stupid idea and you're probably busy and—"

Emily feels her palms sweat, as she mumbled the last few words. Naomi raises an eyebrow, a hint of a smile tugging on her lips.

"No, I think it's brilliant."


	4. Chapter 4: Hope

_**As promised here is the next installment. Again thank you so much for reading, and thank you especially to those who took the time to leave their comments. I'm going on hiatus for a couple of days, hopefully when I get back I'll have a new chapter for you. For now though, I hope you enjoy this one, please do tell me what you think. :)**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Audition<strong>

_Hope_. It has got to be one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.

Emily was filled with hope, her mind filled with nothing but bright and shiny thoughts. In fact ever since that faithful Friday with Naomi, she had been the most optimistic person in the world.

That afternoon she got home in a daze. The rain had not bothered her, nor did her drenched clothes, or semi-soggy shoes... nothing did. All of a sudden, Katie's nagging was not as annoying, and James' antics didn't seem as much of a pain as they used to.

On the weekend Emily got out of bed ridiculously early, and was completely unable to get back to sleep. She got up and took a shower, then looked around for something to do. She had done all of her coursework, even finished a couple of papers that were not due for weeks. She decided to do her laundry, looked into her hamper but found it did not contain enough for even one load. Her desk was clean, drawers tidy, the bed was made, lines memorized.

It struck her then that the possibility being with Naomi (for the sake of the play of course) had led her to a bizarre state of over achievement. Yes, she had always been a decent student, and fairly tidy, but now she was impassioned... now she felt her best. She was pursuing excellence, thinking that when she found it, Naomi would be there somehow.

_Life was good... it really was._

But then there was something looming, a wrinkle she hadn't ironed out and she had been dreading it since Katie had pointed it out the day she got the part. She had to tell her mum.

Mrs. Fitch was never one for surprises. So when Emily got the part, she knew it would take all the coaxing in the world to allow her daughter stay behind.

"No, absolutely not."

"Mum, I'm old enough to fend for myself, and you and dad leave us here most of the time anyway and— "

"Emily's right Mum, I mean it's not like she's going to have wild parties here or anything." Katie gives her sister a once over before frowning in disapproval.

"Please Mum," Emily begged once again, her eyes grew wide pleading.

"That's final Love. Not another word."

"But Mum—"

"Not another word Emily!"

Deafening silence loomed over the Fitch family dining table. Their mother carried on eating as if nothing had ever happened, their father worriedly shifted his eyes from Emily to his wife then back again and Katie and James moved their food around, taking the occasional bite or two so as not to seem suspicious. The rest of Emily's meal was left untouched.

Hope was now lost, it was one of the most terrible feelings in the world.

_Life was over... at least for her it was._

* * *

><p>Emily sat alone in the library faced with an impossible amount of freshly assigned course work. She was surrounded by piles of books stacked high like a fortress, effectively concealing her, not like anyone was dying to sit next to her anyway.<p>

"Hiding from someone?" the voice was so unmistakable it instantly made Emily smile. "Hey Naomi." She says as she looks up, her smile quickly replaced with a worried expression as soon as she sees the stack of books that Naomi was trying to carry.

She stands up to help, "Here, I'll just take these," Emily's fingers touch Naomi's inadvertently, and she feels an involuntary rush go through her body as she takes half of the books and lays them on the table.

"Thanks," Naomi beams at her grateful for the help, "Are you sure you don't mind me sitting next to you?"

"No, sure... uh... go ahead." Emily gestured to seat next to her.

"Good, because I don't think I would have made it very far with those bloody things anyway."

The first 20 minutes with Naomi felt awful, almost like torture for Emily, knowing that it was probably the last time that they'd ever have an excuse to be together. She almost wanted Naomi to be terrible to her, to be unpleasant or completely boring, at least then it would feel like she wouldn't be missing out on much. But unfortunately the blonde who happened to own the most captivating set of eyes that Emily had ever seen was none of these things— in fact, Naomi exceeded Emily's expectations immensely. The truth was she was rather easy to talk to, and she listened when Emily spoke... really listened—like she was sincerely interested in what Emily had to say, she was funny too in dry kind of way, and she laughed at Emily's jokes.

The librarian kept furrowing her brows and squinting at them perhaps believing if she tried hard enough the two girls would turn into stone. Emily leaned forward to whisper something, "I think she actually wants to kill us now." she says in hushed tone, her voice coming off huskier than usual. She could have sworn that she hears Naomi's breath catch for a second.

Naomi looks over her shoulder then back to Emily, "Yeah, I think you're right. We should probably get to work."

* * *

><p>An hour and a half later they were discussing an assignment involving themes in contemporary Literature. It takes a few minutes when Emily realizes something, "You know, you think too much."<p>

Naomi opens her mouth as if to argue, but she pauses for a moment then smiles easily, "What do you mean think too much?" she forms air quotations at the last two words.

"You know, like when you analyze everything."

"That's bullocks." She says huffing, looking defensive and folding her arms across her chest. "I _do not_ analyze everything."

"Yeah?" Emily says trying hard to hide a smirk, "what do you think of the chair in this chapter?"

"Well... it's blue, so... it could represent sadness or empathy or his distress—"Naomi stops speaking the moment she hears Emily's infectious laughter.

"Or..." the redhead fights hard to catch her breath, "Or, the writer might just mean that the chair is fucking blue."

"Fuck you." Naomi manages before she too becomes lost in an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

* * *

><p>On the way home Emily walks slower than usual, actually making an effort to take in her surroundings, hoping that if she did she'd somehow be able to hold on to the day just little bit longer. Then it hit her, she wasn't going to be in the play anymore. Never mind that she worked so hard for it, or that she had spent so much time trying to find even just the courage to audition. Her Mum didn't see that. But Emily had spent most of her life doing what other people told her. She should be used to it by now really. In fact, up till today she had convinced herself to let go, and she was positively fine with the whole 'letting go' thing really until this afternoon.<p>

Why did Naomi have to be so wonderful? She was making things so painfully difficult. Emily stops then, the weight of situation had finally hit her, and despite herself, she began to cry. She was quiet at first then she broke out in sobs right there in the middle of the street for all of Bristol to see. She stays that way for a while; cold, lost, and alone, when suddenly she hears her phone ring. She waits a couple of seconds for her breathing to level before she finally answers, "Katie?"

"Hey Bitch, Mum's looking for you. We're all waiting for you actually... we're about to have dinner. Where are you?"

"I don't feel like having dinner."

"It's the third time this week Ems; you should at least have—"

"I can't Katie."

Then Emily hangs up leaving Katie to worry about her on the other line.

* * *

><p>Naomi stares at herself intently in the mirror as she tries to decide what to wear, so far she had settled on underwear, and a skirt, but now a vast number of tops were slowly collecting in a large heap on her bed. She holds up a shirt and contemplates it for a second before makes a face, then chucks it with the rest of the pile.<p>

"I like the fancy white one, dear, with the dark jacket."

"Mum!" Naomi exclaimed looking positively mortified.

"Got a date love?" Gina Campbell asked wearing a very amused expression on her face.

"No," she answers tersely before adding, "Of course not."

"It looks like you're making a big fuss."

"I'm not... I just... I want to look nice, Jesus." She scowled.

"Whatever you say dear," her mother responded as she walked away smiling.

Naomi rolls her eyes and checks her doorway to make sure her mum was really gone. It was true; she wasn't going out on a date. And she wasn't making a big fuss! What did Gina know?  
>She could very well just wear anything and it wouldn't matter wouldn't it? But she might see someone <em>again<em>... like let's say... _Emily_ for instance, or anyone... whatever... and it never hurt to look presentable. Not that she cared what Emily thought. Or what Emily's opinion was of her. Who did Emily think she was anyway?

Naomi sighs, looks at the pile of tops scattered across her bed and picks up the fancy white one and the jacket. She holds them up just long enough to see what they look like in the mirror, then walks away hurriedly to get changed.


	5. Chapter 5: Clouds

_**Hi, I'm back! Thank you so much for your lovely comments (they really brighten up my day) and for taking the time to read :)**_

* * *

><p><strong>The Audition<strong>

It was a crisp Wednesday morning when Emily awoke to— oddly enough— the sound of hangers clanging together. It took only a moment before it was followed by the rustling of fabric and the unmistakable sound of boxes being shuffled around in the closet. She hears the curtains being pulled back. Beams of sunlight fill the room, so bright it made her eyes hurt. She blinks her vision slightly blurry, her mouth seemingly dry, and her heart feeling too heavy to carry. It must be time to get up she thinks, but her body would not cooperate.

The thing was she didn't get much sleep last night— a mere three hours and thirty minutes to be exact. There was a test today, and a paper due for her Politics class, and Emily was up forever just trying to get things done. She would have done these things earlier if she didn't insist on acting like a bloody ninja, sneaking into the house in the most inconvenient of ways and at the most ungodly of hours just to avoid any form of communication with her mother.

She was on a hunger strike. The idea had come to her one day in Politics class where Kieran went on for an hour talking about actively fasting as a form of protest during the early twentieth century in India. She figured that if it could work for a country then it would definitely work against her mum. It had been a week and a half now since her silent protest had begun. Emily no longer ate home cooked meals or deigned to sit with her family by the dinner table. She had this ridiculous notion that if she did, her mother would win, and for once she was not going to let that happen—although admittedly, she never really turned down Katie or James whenever they took pity on her and gave her morsels of food which they had managed to sneak past their mum.

"Wake the fuck up Ems!" It was then that Emily felt the covers being pulled away from her. She groaned and rolled over to the left. Thoughts of getting up rush through her mind but the bed was so warm and inviting that she closes her eyes again giving in to the temptation of having just few more minutes of undisturbed sleep.

"Okay, its either you get up or I'll drag you off the fucking bed!" Katie said, as she hurled a pillow a little too roughly at her sister. It was in part due to frustration (this was the fifth time she tried waking Emily up this morning) but mostly because they were already running late as it was (15 minutes left and Emily wasn't even up yet).

Emily was hit hard on the face, and she felt her nose burning from the pain as white stars started to flash before her eyes. All hope of her being in a good mood today had officially shriveled and died. A whimper escapes her lips, as she reels from the sheer shock of it all. She grabs a pillow and stands up ready to retaliate.

"Katie?" she yells but her sister was no longer there. Instead she sees clothes neatly laid out for her to wear, complete with a bow and matching pair of shoes.

"You're welcome!" she hears Katie shout sarcastically from the hall.

"Thank you," was all she could manage murmur.

Looks like she was going to school after all.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later she came bounding down the steps expecting to see a royally pissed Katie waiting for her at the foot of the stairs, tapping her feet impatiently against the floor like she always did when she was made to wait. She imagined her sister's arms crossed, and a huffy expression plastered across her face, a large axe in her hands perhaps— whatever it was, Emily was prepared for the worst. To her surprise though, no one was there. What greeted her instead was the sweet smell of vanilla and butter wafting through the air. It made her mouth water; a grumble immediately rose from her stomach. She forgets herself for a moment and follows the delectable aroma all the way to the kitchen.<p>

"Katie?" she calls out, no answer, but Emily hears the faint sound of kitchen utensils clinking against plates, and a soft chatter coming from the dining area.

"Katie! Katie we have to go or else we're going to be late for coll—"

"Ems, mum made warfles fur breakfash." Katie tried her best to say with a mouthful of waffles. Emily glared at her. Traitor.

"Sit down dear," Jenna Fitch instructs her youngest daughter, "I made enough for everyone."

Emily refused, her feet rooted to the spot. Her eyes followed her mother as she expertly carried a plate full of golden, crisp, perfectly cooked waffles from the kitchen counter to the dining table. Steam slowly rose from the dish and the same sweet intoxicating scent drifted through the air. Butter melted into the grooves before it mixed and swirled with the syrup which slowly collected into a pool at the bottom of the plate. There were all sorts of jams, spreads, berries, and fruits arranged across the table. Katie and James had already helped themselves to some Nutella and banana slices, their mouths full and their eyes guilty.

It took all of Emily's strength to remind herself that this was war, "I'm not hungry mum."

"She's on a hunger strike like the Dalai Lama." Katie says matter-of-factly before she takes a sip of her orange juice.

"Gandhi." Emily said flatly, though she looked very upset.

"Whatev—"

... The door slammed before the sentence could finish.

* * *

><p>It was late in the afternoon when classes were finally over. The day had been long and exhausting and all Naomi wanted to do right then was to head home and rest. But first things first, she had to have a smoke. The sun was slowly sinking as she walked by the bleachers, turning everything slightly golden and balmy. She was marveled at the huge expanse of grass which stretched out in front of her when all of a sudden she sees a familiar flash of red— <em>Emily<em>.

The girl had her elbows to her knees, with a candy bar in one hand and her chin propped against the other. A glum yet slightly vacant expression graced her features. Her eyes were somewhat puffy, skin a little splotchy, and her cheeks were clearly tear-streaked. Emily had been crying, Naomi realized and it tugged at her heart until it sank completely.

If they haven't spoken in these past few days... it wasn't a coincidence. The truth was it took just about all the effort in the world not to feel something that had already overcome you. Sometimes distance was better, it was easier to stay away... You're always left feeling safer somehow.

Naomi bites her thumb out of habit, her teeth grazing on the nail a little. She thinks perhaps she should just leave her alone, that maybe if she tried to talk she would be imposing on something... but her feet were already moving towards her as if they had a mind of their own.

"Are you alright?" she asks as she sits beside Emily.

"I... I'm fine." The flustered redhead sputters, her expression shifting almost in an instant, a genuine smile brightening up her face. Naomi stares at her for a while, trying her best to assess whether or not Emily was being truthful. It suddenly occurs to her that she had no plan, other than asking how Emily was, she had absolutely nothing.

A familiar sense of panic rushes through her, it was the kind you felt right before you make a total arse of yourself. She worries her bottom lip with her teeth, then she smiles nervously trying to think of something intelligent to say. In the end she simply shrugs and offers Emily a cigarette. "Thanks."

They sat in silence for a while as smoke rose from their cigarettes like graceful little wisps of silk which intertwined right before completely vanishing into thin air. She and Emily watched the sky together. Naomi tried hard to focus on the clouds as they drifted lazily over them; careful not to gawk at Emily, or to let her eyes linger too long. It was a matter of control really, and she was determined to hold on to it.

"Look Naomi..."

She lost the battle immediately as soon as Emily spoke. It was her voice— that deep, sensual, raspy tone, which betrayed everything soft and innocent about her. If she wasn't sure before, it was definitely at this point that she knew Emily was dangerous.

"That one looks like a turtle," there was a certain dreaminess in the way Emily said it, almost like a child would. She leaned a little closer pointing at a large mass of clouds which floated elegantly to their right. Naomi scrunched her nose; it looked more like a swan than a turtle.

The trouble with hearing Emily's voice was it immediately drew attention to her lips, which were rather pink and luscious and thoughts of her lips lead to ideas of having those lips on hers. Not in a pervy way exactly, just enough to see how they felt, and find out if they were as soft as she had imagined— '_Fuck! Stop!' _She catches herself, and pushes away the idea immediately. _Friends do not do this to friends._

She closed her eyes; the thoughts had jolted her and made her skin burn. She peers down at her legs and her arms then realizes she was literally shaking. Thankfully, Emily didn't seem to notice, her full attention still with the sky.

Naomi took a deep breath and smiled; she tipped her head slightly, eyes squinting... the clouds looking like a squirrel to her now more than anything.

* * *

><p>They smoked a few more fags, chatting occasionally before they fell back into a comfortable lull. She did not bring up Emily's tears, nor did she point out the sad look on Emily's face before she had arrived... though of course she wanted to know. Then as if reading her mind, Emily straightened up a little, "So my mum made me waffles," she began softly. Naomi raised her eyebrows, confused with the sudden change of topic, it certainly wasn't what she expected to hear, and so she said the next words very slowly, "<em>She made you waffles?<em>"

"Yeah," Emily gave a nervous chuckle, "It's a long story... never mind."

Naomi took a final drag from her cigarette which had almost burned down to the filter; the tip glowed red-orange as she inhaled. It was the last from her pack she realizes, and she mentally curses herself for not bringing more. She chucked the smoldering cigarette butt to the ground then crushed it with the heel of her shoe. It was growing dark now, and what she had intended to be a friendly five minute chat with Emily evolved into something else, though she wasn't quite sure what exactly.

"Do you want to get out of here?" she asks, as she smoothes down the fabric of her skirt and slings her bag over her shoulder. Emily looks at her for a moment, eyes wide and lips curled into a smile.

"Okay."

Maybe this was a bad idea... walking next to each other, and not knowing quite what to do. They strolled for a while, not saying anything. It was not a comfortable silence for Naomi, though it didn't show. Emily had an addictive personality she realized; the girl was just so warm and easy to be with that there wasn't much she could do about it really. Walking close to her, wanting to kiss her, but knowing she wouldn't was frustrating. It made her want to explode and implode all at once.

"...Today was... nice." Emily's words brought her out of her reverie.

Naomi smiles sheepishly at her, then bites at her bottom lip, "Well this is mine." She motions at the house in front of them.

"Right..." Emily looks at her as if a dozen thoughts were racing through her mind, "Thank you."

She leans forward and gives Naomi a hug. It wasn't the most intimate of things. For starters, they were both dressed in many layers, so there wasn't much to go on. It was nice, though, to get some measure of Emily's size. Even with all of the clothes Naomi could tell she was small and frail. She was maybe five inches shorter than she was, thin and angular feeling, yet soft and warm, delicate altogether.

They stayed that way for a while, and neither of them seemed to mind, until Naomi felt Emily's body pressing down on her, getting heavier and heavier, before slumping completely, her body going slack.

"Emily?" she cried, "Emily!"

* * *

><p>Everything was dark as Emily lay there waiting for her senses to return. It felt to her as if her head had been split open, emptied and hollowed. Her lips were chapped, and it hurt just to breathe. More sleep her body demands... <em>More sleep.<em>...

"Please be alright... please be alright... please be alright..." a voice reaches her, soft like a whisper, but desperate all at once.

"Hm?" was all she could muster. Her eyes flutter open to reveal the off-white ceiling hanging above her; though for some reason she automatically searches for blue. She was on a bed she realizes, but it was not her own. Lost and disoriented, she couldn't help but wonder how she got there. It was then that she felt someone squeeze on her hand, and then she knew, "Naomi?"

"Hi." the blonde said as she quickly took her hand from Emily, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with it, an involuntarily blush creeping onto her cheeks. She was relieved; a large smile slowly gracing her lips. Naomi looked beautiful when she was worried.

"Wha— what happened?"

"You fainted."

"I... what?" Emily tries to sit up and immediately regrets it. It was too soon.

"Here," she shoved a sandwich and a glass of milk into Emily's hands.

"But Naomi... I can't..." Emily tries to refuse. She was much too embarrassed from what happened earlier to take anything from Naomi at the moment; she'd already done so much.

"Look, I went through a lot of trouble getting you here," Naomi's eyes swept suggestively across Emily's body before she caught herself again. She purses her lips and rolls her eyes, "I mean for such a small person, you weigh a ton... the least you can do is eat your sandwich." Emily grew bright red just then; her eyes immediately shifting from Naomi to her hands. She was floored... speechless really— hell, she wanted to crawl under a rock and die of embarrassment if that were at all possible. But in the end all she could do was shrug. She met Naomi's expectant eyes, and gave her a sheepish grin before finally holding the sandwich up and taking a bite.

* * *

><p>An hour after she left Naomi's Emily found herself at home, sitting in the backyard, waiting things out. The stars seemed endless tonight, and she was trying to count them just to pass the time. She'd like to think that out of all of them, there would be at least one that would take pity on her.<p>

The cold night air had settled in and her breath steamed in the air. Her hunger strike idea had been a disaster. She was done fighting... because she simply couldn't anymore. The determination was there, but as she painfully witnessed today, her body could no longer keep up.

She thinks about how she would break the news to Effy and Naomi and everyone else... how she would handle the barrage of questions that came after and the look of disappointment that would flash across their faces. It made her feel so hopeless that she began to cry.

Suddenly the kitchen door creaked open, and the sound of footsteps grew closer and closer to where she was sitting. Emily looked over her shoulder to see her father looking at her with the kindest expression on his face. She smiled weakly but said nothing as he sat next to her, making no attempt to hide the tears which streaked down her face.

They sat there for a while as the distinctive sound of crickets and frog croaks filled the air. "This is really important to you isn't it?"

She sighs and gives him a faint smile, her eyes sparkling with tears, "Yes."

Her father ruffles her hair and gives her a one armed hug. "Then you're staying."


	6. Chapter 6: Enemies

_**Hello there! Sorry I wasn't able to update this sooner. I was busy and sick the whole week so I couldn't really write anything decent (not that I think this is decent) :)) Anyway, the next chapter's already half way done. I think I'll put a little bit of drama in that one, yeah? As for this one, well it's light but necessary. **_

_**Thank you so much for reading this and thanks especially to all of the beautiful people who were nice enough to share their thoughts with me.**_

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><p><em><strong>.<strong>_

**The Audition**

It happened a few days before summer was officially to begin.

The cafeteria was filled with the monotonous hum of random conversations overlapping, as students slowly trickled in one by one to have lunch. Katie Fitch sat by one of the tables waiting for Emily to return with their food. She fluffed up her hair, wiped the corners of her mouth with her thumb and then busied herself by inspecting her freshly manicured nails. They were a deep shade red she notes, shiny and perfectly filed.

Already two or three heads turn in her direction, admiring every inch of her. Most especially the way her top (which was two sizes too small) clung to her body, emphasizing the curve of her hips and the swell of her breasts. It certainly left nothing much to the imagination, and of course Katie knew this, that was the point.

She smiles an alluring smile, careful not to meet anyone's gaze. Somehow beneath her loud and flashy exterior, she had managed to pull off the art of being both coy and confident all at once. By now the place was beginning to get crowded and her stomach felt emptier by the second. She looks around and wonders what was taking so long. Then she saw something completely infuriating.

At the far corner of the room, close to where the lunch line was, Emily stood balancing two trays on each hand, and in front of her was a fairly tall girl with long chestnut hair. It looked like they were having a rather interesting conversation as Katie saw Emily blushing profusely, nearly tripping though she was standing still.

She waits until the food is set down and Emily is finally seated before she decidedly goes ballistic.

"What the fuck Ems!" she blares, her voice so loud it startles some of the students who were seated near them. Katie shoots them down with a deathly glare before she fixes her eyes back on her sister.

Confusion washes over Emily's face. She wonders what she did to set her sister off, but before she could actually get the question out Katie had already answered it for her.

"Alexa _fucking_ Elliot," she said with so much spite that she took her fork and stabbed angrily at a carrot. "What the fuck did she want?"

"Oh," Emily looked around. Her smile faltered a little before facing Katie again. She was clearly just as surprised as her sister was. "It was nothing... she was just being nice."

But Katie was not letting up. "So you're friends now?" she scowled at the last word, her eyes not leaving Alexa who now had her back turned to them. She was chatting with a bunch of students and laughing along with them around the table.

Emily sighed, it was almost like Katie didn't want her to have any friends, which was probably true, sure, but she knew that it was mainly because Katie hated Alexa's guts more than anything. The girl never did anything to her but for some demented reason or another she was convinced Alexa Elliot was getting in her way.

"She just wanted to congratulate me on the play." There was a pause before she adds, "_she's my under study._"

Katie's eyes widen for a second before she rolls them.

"Honestly, I don't see what's so special about her. I mean, they could have found someone better!"

"Like who?"

"Well, we're like... twins, right? So obviously it should be me." Katie arches an eyebrow, placing her hands on her hips for emphasis. Emily merely gave her twin a meaningful glance before turning her attention back to her meal.

To describe Alexa as beautiful would have been wrong, because really, it didn't do her any justice. It was much like using the word 'shiny' to describe a perfectly cut diamond glinting under the sun. The word was inadequate but it had to do.

The truth was she was spectacular looking, with her high cheekbones and waif-like frame. She was charming, graceful, smart and unassuming. Emily briefly wonders why she hadn't seen her much, before she remembers that Alexa had been away for most of last semester spending two weeks in London and three in Moscow, performing for an actual theatre group. It was almost legendary.

So yes, Emily was dumbstruck when she talked to her, anyone would. Her green eyes flickered warmly as she said hello, and Emily would have been utterly captivated if she weren't already so taken with somebody else. And really, that was saying something because Naomi was truly, painfully gorgeous.

"Fake bitch," Katie mumbles under hear breath.

Emily could have disagreed with her just then, but she bites her tongue in the end, out of plain, stupid loyalty.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Emilio!" Cook says as he squeezes himself in between her and JJ. He greets her by wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in tight. He was crushing her slightly, but she doesn't even bother telling him. It was no use anyway.

"I told you not to call me that," she insisted.

"I know," he grins wickedly.

Cook first began calling her this a few days after they first met. It was the time when he had invited them to the pub to get royally wasted, though ultimately he ended up being the only one. By the time he was through he had somehow managed to trash part of the bar, get into a fist a fight, and shag god knows how many girls, but in the morning all he could remember was calling Emily "Emilio," and so the name stuck.

He tugs hard on JJ's collar pulling them all into a huddle, "So there's this party tonight"

"Can't." Emily shuts him down immediately.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because you called me Emilio." She gives him a cheeky smirk which he mirrors almost instantaneously, "That's why I like you Red... that's why I like you."

He lets Emily out of his grasp and pats JJ on the back, "Looks like it's just you and me— whoa!"

Cook licks his lips before he begins to make an obnoxious thrusting motion with his hips.

"Lookin' good Naomikins!" he shouts rather impulsively, his voice so loud it reaches the far end of the hall. Naomi stops mid-stride, startled to see the dozen or so eyes that were now fixed on her. She glowers at Cook for a second before she turns to open her locker, effectively hiding the goofy smile which followed as soon as she saw how hard Emily had elbowed him on the ribs.

* * *

><p>.<p>

It was all worked out in her head, the speech she was going to give Naomi. It was meant to be the most excellent thank you ever delivered to another human being. In fact it took her hours to pick out the perfect words, and even more time to arrange them just right. So when she marched towards Naomi she walked with purpose, because for once she knew for certain that this was going to be fool-proof.

"Are you hungry?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before her brain had a chance to filter any of it. No 'hi' or 'hello', no build up whatsoever, she just opens the conversation with _that_. She stood there awkwardly, mentally cursing herself for acting like a total git, as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

"What?" Naomi asked without turning around.

"Hungry... low on food... um.." Emily tries desperately to redeem herself, but no such luck. She could have sworn she was more articulate just a few seconds ago. _Where the hell did that Emily go?_

"I know what hungry means." Naomi answers curtly, finally facing her. She had her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed.

Emily flinched from the sheer lack of smoothness of it all. She took one look of the surly expression on Naomi's face and turned bright red right then, fearing the conversation had hit rock bottom too soon. It was like standing before a burning house, watching as the flames licked at the blacked beams right before everything turned to ash.

Fuck it.

"So are you?" she clears her throat, "uh... hungry?"

Naomi shrugs, a ghost of a smile tugging the corner of her mouth, "What did you have in mind?"

.

There was a cafe not too far away from campus. Naomi must've passed it a hundred times before but never really noticed until today. The place had a very inviting feel to it, with soft light permeating from the ceiling, not too bright that it hurt the eyes. Inside the smell of coffee, chocolate and vanilla mixed in the air. It was the kind of atmosphere that made people want to stay for hours.

Naomi sank back into her chair waiting anxiously. She watches as Emily talks to the girl behind the counter, asking about the various cakes and pastries on display before finally settling on the chocolate torte which looked far too sinful to eat.

She couldn't help but notice the way Emily's lips curved into an easy smile or the subtle motion of her hips as they swayed with every single stride, and how her hair glinted slightly beneath the soft light. It was simple really, but somehow in that brief moment it makes her forget everything else.

"So... Thank you." Emily said as she sets down the cake and tea.

"You didn't have to." Naomi tries to shrug off.

"I wanted to."

* * *

><p>.<p>

This wasn't a date, Naomi tries to convince herself. This was simply a meal shared by two people— not even a proper meal really, but tea. A few tables in front of her she sees a young couple kissing passionately and it breaks her concentration. Naomi blinks, breathes deeply and tries again.

_This was not a date_.

It was a shared story here and a clever comeback there; a predictable pattern of stolen glances from across the table, followed by teeth worrying an already worn out lip. It was the sharp intake of breath when fingertips touch inadvertently and the surge of electricity that followed right after. It was the steady beating of hearts, and the unexpected skip that happened in between.

No, this wasn't a date at all, this was... _torture_.

She wonders how long she could keep this up. Maybe she had to stop. You know, stop giving herself these talks in the middle of the night... stop convincing herself that this was nothing when she woke up every morning.

(The feeling was still there... it never goes away.)

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Why do you even bother hanging out with him?" Naomi asked curiously. Out of all the people on campus— which let's be honest, were generally tossers anyway— she especially detested James Cook. It was the way he always kept asking her for a shag. Not in so many words but things like, "You wanna get down Blondie," or "We should get together and feel all right," definitely sounded like a propositions to her. Not to mention the way he cackled at every snarky remark she made. Naomi hated that too.

It seemed odd to her that anyone would even entertain the thought of breathing the same air as he did, much less be his mate.

Emily shifts uncomfortably in her chair. Teaspoon poised in midair, she gave it some thought, mulls it over, then hesitates, "Because he saved my life Naomi."

There is this silence that falls right after. It was stifling, almost. Emily looks out the window then back to her tea. Naomi felt as if she had hit a nerve with her somehow. She opens her mouth and tries to say something only to close it again because she really, really had no idea.

"Christ! I— I'm sorry... Fuck! I had no idea..." She said to Emily who at the moment wouldn't look her in the eye, a sullen expression on her face. "I'm such a fucking idiot..."

She watches as Emily's body began to tremble, and hears her trying to hold back something, possibly tears. Naomi begins to wonder if the girl was going to cry then and there, a mix of panic and guilt surging through her system. She was about to apologize some more when suddenly Emily gives her a mischievous grin.

"Well that was easy." she says, barely able to keep herself from laughing as she saw Naomi's mouth drop a little.

"Bitch! Very fucking funny!" Naomi crumples up a paper napkin and throws it at her, hitting her square in between the eyes. Shock washes over them for a second before it was replaced by soft giggles. Apparently Naomi had perfect aim.

"I'm still waiting for my answer."

"Seriously?" Emily's eyebrows hike up in surprise. She sees Naomi nod, wanting a genuine response.

"He's well, Cook. He's a good guy; like... you know... he grows on you eventually."

"I seriously doubt that."

A strand of hair falls closely to Naomi's eye. And the thought of touching her face threatens to override all sense of control for Emily. It makes her sip her drink much too quickly, almost burning her tongue in the process.

"He rather fancies you actually. I mean, he thinks you're kind of feisty. He likes that."

Naomi tries to resist rolling her eyes, but ends up doing so anyway.

"What? He does!" Emily said indignantly, giving the blonde the warmest smile.

"He fancies anything that moves and won't say no."

"Hmm," was all Emily could come up with after that, because even if it was rude, it was kind of true. Her lips eased into a little smile, her hands fumbling with the tiny packets of sugar on the table.

"I'm impressed though," Naomi's voice softened, "he seems kind of afraid of you."

Emily snorts as soon as the words come out. It was the most unlikely thing anyone had ever said to her, but she quite liked it. She gave Naomi a funny look just before they break eye contact.

Naomi takes her cup full of tea and brings it to her lips; she couldn't help thinking maybe she was kind of afraid of Emily too.


	7. Chapter 7: Change

**_Hi everyone! I know it's been a while. I just wanted to post this before I went on my trip. This chapter is a bit long (I think I got carried away) but I hope you enjoy it. _**

**_Also, thank you so much for your reviews they mean the world to me, they really do. _**

**_I'd like to hear what you think about this one as well :)_**

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><p><strong>The Audition<strong>

"Ems did you see my..."

Emily held up a hot pink leopard print bra to Katie's face, who grabs it without saying a word.

Her family was leaving in the afternoon and already the house felt empty.

A sudden sadness tugs at the pit of her stomach when she realized she was actually going to miss them, then she felt her heart sink when she came to the conclusion that she was going to miss Katie the most.

Her sister had nearly cleaned out their closet, and kept her side of the bedroom neat for once. Earlier Emily saw her trying to wrestle her fourth suitcase shut.

Katie looks at her uneasily, "Try not to mess up while I'm away, yeah?"

Emily hugs her and promises to call, and Katie mumbles something unintelligible into her hair. When they pull apart, Katie looks away and sniffles, quickly making up an excuse about something being caught in her eye. Emily just smiles. She didn't dare point out Katie's tears because her sister may be a lot of things, bitchy, trashy... a bit tacky at times, but Katie never ever did _corny_.

Five hours later Emily found herself being dragged into a noisy club by an overeager Cook, who threatened to carry her there if she didn't cooperate.

"I don't know Cook, I should just—"

"Come on babes, it'll be fun. " He reassured her with a toothy grin, as they weaved through the swarm of people and made a bee-line towards the bar. "Drinks on me yeah?"

The smell of stale cigarettes hung in the air as Cook passes her a beer and clinks their bottles together. Emily tilts her head slightly; perhaps one drink wouldn't hurt.

"To your freedom Emilio," he says light-heartedly before disappearing into the dance floor. Emily sighed and tried to process what was happening. In a sea of people she realized that for the first time she was on her own.

Tomorrow was a new day; a new beginning.

* * *

><p>"Fuck!" Naomi cursed, though there was no one there. "Fucking fuck!"<p>

There was an endless, ever growing list of reasons why she should just move away. Just grab her clothes, stuff them in a hold all and move to some remote village half way across the globe. Any place was better than here. Seriously.

Today was no different. She was sorting out her clothes, folding them carefully when she realized her shirts looked smaller, that somehow they had shrunk.

"Mum! _MUM!_"

"What is it love?" Gina Campbell's sugary voice echoed in the hallway. Naomi gives her mother a death stare as soon as she enters the room.

One of the disadvantages of living in a madhouse is that other people keep offering to do things for you and ultimately fuck it up. This week it was Billy from across the hall who offered to do the laundry. And Gina said yes despite the fact that he was probably the most unqualified person in the world to do such a thing, considering that the only thing he ever wears around the house were headphones.

"Oh dear," she gave Naomi one of those apologetic looks, the kind which simultaneously said she couldn't do anything about it. She walked over to the bed and gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead. Naomi would never admit this, but it was one of the few things that her mother did which made her feel better.

She hands Naomi a large Manila envelope. "Somebody left this for you."

* * *

><p>Emily winced as she padded down the stairs at 8 in the morning, barefoot, with heavy eyes, and her hair hastily tied back into a messy ponytail. It was early... far too early for someone to be at the door, knocking.<p>

She was met by a flash of blue and blonde and for a second Emily wondered if she was still sleeping because this sort of thing—_ the_ _girl of her dreams showing up at her doorstep unannounced_— well, it doesn't really happen to people like her.

"Hi." Naomi smiled, standing with her arms crossed and looking at her expectantly. She was wearing a red denim overall skirt, which was half undone, and a white printed t-shirt, which was a bit too snug.

The outfit showed off her long legs, and curves which were usually hidden amongst the sea oversized shirts and loud print leggings that she regularly wore to college. It looked good on her, despite the fact that it would probably look ridiculous on anyone else.

"You look hot."

"Pardon?"

"Warm! I meant... warm."

Emily blushed bright red, but then again it was kind of innocent... it was summer after all. She cracked the door open a little further so Naomi could step inside.

"Do you want something to drink? Since you're um..."

"Warm?"

Emily gave a nervous laugh and made her way into the kitchen before she made an even bigger fool of herself.

A few minutes later Naomi was sitting by the kitchen table looking quite unsure what to do. She took in her new surroundings. It was quite nice here, peaceful, a stark contrast to her hippy-infested home. She gives a sigh before rummaging through her things.

"What's in that thing anyway?" Emily asked eyeing Naomi's oversized bag, "Small children or something?"

"Yes Emily, they're all very well-trained. Won't speak until I give them permission." Naomi said sarcastically, a smile playing across her lips. She seemed rather distracted as she fished through the contents of her bag. "Here."

Emily looks at her confused; it looked like a copy of the script. "Effy said to go over these," Naomi explained, "dropped them off this morning."

* * *

><p>There were changes, so many bloody changes that Effy's made to the script that it was hard to keep up. Emily carefully studied the lines to get a better picture of everything, when half way through skimming something makes her lose her balance... and she was sitting down.<p>

"All right?"

"Yeah I'm fine." She coughs to cover her discomfort but it comes off so forced that it sounds ridiculous.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Naomi asks while turning a page.

"Nothing."

"Em..." the nickname rolls out of her tongue before she could help it. She almost panics just then, but stops herself when she sees Emily relax. "Tell me."

Emily moved closer to make sure no one would hear. It makes Naomi smile because they were the only two people there. "It's just that I— I've never done this before."

Emily's words land in a whisper on a patch of skin somewhere between Naomi's neck and earlobe. It makes her heart race a little— well okay, a lot.

"I've never kissed anyone... you know... on stage."

"Oh," Naomi managed despite the feeling that something was lodged in her throat. Emily's words made her mouth go dry.

She leafs through the pages frantically to look for the scene, not quite grasping what was going on. And then there it was: _Page 16 paragraph 4._ Emily was going to kiss Josh Fulton.

Naomi didn't have a problem with him personally— didn't even bother learning his name until now. From what she could remember he was a very put together kind of guy— quiet, cute in that boy-next- door kind of way. Everyone liked him. Well almost everyone, since she officially started hating him three seconds ago.

The thought of him touching Emily's face, running his fingers through her hair, his lips grazing hers... It hits her like a sharp knife to the gut, twisting her insides ever so slowly. It hurt... No_, it was fucking painful._

"I have to go," she said abruptly, already swinging her bag over her shoulder and clearing her things off the table.

"But we're not even through with the first scene."

"We can just pick things up tomorrow or something." She said hurriedly, refusing to meet Emily's confused gaze.

"Oh, okay." Emily gets up and helps her. When they were done she gives Naomi a weak smile, before she inched closer to hand over the rest of her things.

"Here," Emily's eyes were wide, filled with so much warmth and need, it was almost suffocating. Naomi could have sworn she meant to leave just then, but somehow found that she couldn't. She remained very still; it was the best she could do given that she was practically shaking on the spot. She watched as in one fluid motion Emily took a step forward, closing the space between them, before standing on her tiptoes until their faces were less than a few inches apart. Naomi didn't even get a chance to blink before Emily's chest pressed lightly against her own, those brown eyes slowly looking up as if to ask for permission.

She could feel her heart hammering, knew Emily could now feel it too. There was a pause, and then a sigh, and then there were lips upon hers, so warm they make her eyes close and her pulse race a million fold. She always thought she would fight against it; always imagined that she'd have more sense of control. But honestly, this was everything she _hoped _it would be.

* * *

><p>At night Emily lies in bed, feeling so extremely happy she couldn't sleep. She watches as the shadows dance on her bedroom walls, and listens to the faint sounds coming from outside her house. Snippets of Naomi flash through her mind, her hair, her eyes, her lips, and the sensation of having them pressed against hers. It was all so promising somehow.<p>

Laying there in the darkness with no one to disturb her, Emily pictures their future together: She would bring Naomi fresh cut flowers everyday in the summer; would run her fingers through Naomi's hair as she read, and in the evenings after a very long day they would fall asleep together in each other's arms...

* * *

><p>It was a small cast, so Effy decided to have the read-throughs at her house. On the walk over Naomi thought of Emily, trying to decide what she was going to do next. Yes, she had kissed her once and for the longest time it was all she wanted. Curiosity satisfied. And that was all.<p>

She grows more assured with every step she took, figures that perhaps she had blown this whole attraction thing out of proportion. When she walked in, she saw Emily sitting cross-legged on the couch. At that moment Naomi knew that she had not.

They talked politely to each other, much like strangers would. Naomi sits beside her and spends at least fifteen trying to rationalize that it was the sensible thing to do.

The read-through went fairly well, though it wouldn't have really made much of a difference to Naomi given how distracted she was the entire time. Having Emily in such close proximity made her mind drift to other things. She often zoned out as the actors delivered their lines, only paying attention once it was her turn to speak or Emily's.

It wasn't the kiss that bothered her. It was the loss of self-control. Around Emily Naomi fears that maybe she had lost it for good.

Later Effy congratulated them, giving the cast corrections which she sandwiched in between praises. Naomi wrote them down on the margins of her script, trying her hardest to push away the thoughts that bothered her.

She had been attracted to other people before, but up until this point it had always been sort of optional. She could either choose to realize it or not, turn it on and off if she wanted depending on the convenience of the situation. But for some reason she couldn't shake this feeling away... _whatever it was_.

* * *

><p>In the days that followed they do not talk to each other at all. It's not that they didn't want to; it's just that they didn't know how.<p>

During their next run-through Naomi made sure that she sat as far from away from Emily as possible. She wanted to read the script in peace, concentrate for once without her heart threatening to jump out of her chest every time Emily so much as looked at her.

Sometimes though their eyes would meet in between reading lines and for an infinitesimal second Naomi forgets to breathe.

* * *

><p>It didn't take long before the realization hits her: <em>she wasn't the only one who had eyes for Emily.<em> She wouldn't have minded if her competition was a homely, frog faced, unattractive cow, but unfortunately none of these applied to Emily's understudy, Alexa.

The girl was quick witted and funny, and so blatantly touchy-feely around Emily that it made Naomi's blood simmer. It seemed harmless in the beginning. The two of them would sit together, talk, maybe even joke around. But then there were times when Alexa's stare would linger too long on Emily's lips, or moments wherein she'd sit so close to Emily that it reeked of desperation.

Naomi let these moments pass, but never seemed to be able to let them go.

One night when they were milling around the kitchen taking a break, Alexa took Emily's hand and pulled her towards the couch. Her thigh rested sloppily on top of Emily's; it lasted for over an hour... not that Naomi was counting or anything. Occasionally she would sneak in a glance at them, counting the ways she could get rid of Alexa, all of which involved pushing her off a cliff or something.

Naomi leaned heavily against the wall, pretending to go over lines she's memorized ages ago. She mumbles some words, furrows her brows, turns the pages from time to time. She was convincing. Almost.

At one point she saw Alexa lean in and whisper something into Emily's ear, her finger gliding down the side of my Emily's neck. Naomi flinched, she felt like hurling.

"Taking it hard I see." She turns around to see Effy beside her, an amused expression on her face.

"Excuse me?"

Effy shrugs, tilts her head a little and shifts her eyes towards Emily's general direction. She smiles. She knows.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Naomi manages to say evenly, and just like that Effy lets it go. It baffles her for a second before she realizes that Effy was walking away with a bigger, even more satisfied grin on her face.

* * *

><p>It was as if she couldn't light a cigarette fast enough. As soon as Effy had dismissed them, she rushed outside, not even bothering to say good bye to anyone. She desperately dug in her pockets for a lighter. She lit the tip and inhaled greedily, before breathing puffs of smoke into the cool night air.<p>

The thing about Naomi was she liked to build walls. In fact she couldn't remember a time where she didn't have any, couldn't think recall a moment where she had been vulnerable or exposed. It was just her nature to place layer after layer, brick over figurative brick. If she could, she would live in a deserted island; maybe even build a fortress, or a moat to keep the sharks at bay.

Seeing Emily with someone else... well, it felt like the most natural thing to do.

"What's wrong?"

Naomi spins around, almost dropping her cigarette, "Just leave me alone Emily." she says and begins to walk past her, taking long strides.

Emily tries to double her pace but it was no use. She decides in the end to break into a sprint just to keep up with Naomi.

"Naomi?" she says a little out of breath. She tries to grab Naomi's wrist, but catches her sleeve instead. "Talk to me. Please don't walk away."

"I have to go—"

"Would you just... fucking look at me?"

Naomi sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes before facing Emily. "What?"

"Do you hate me or something?" Emily asks point blank. It was a cold night and she suddenly grew aware of freezing air which filled her lungs. She thinks for a moment of taking Naomi's hands in hers, just hold them long enough to reassure her, but decides against it at the last minute, choosing instead to shove them into her coat pockets.

Naomi looks at her steadily, her expression completely unreadable. Emily focuses on her eyes which looked almost green beneath the orange street lights, "Don't take it personally, I hate everyone."

"First of all, that's not really an answer, and second that's not even possible... hating everybody."

Naomi gave a little scoff. It felt like a challenge and she certainly wasn't one to lose. "Well let's see... I hate my mum, and all the wanking tossers who live with us. I hate Effy and the way she thinks she knows everything. Christ, I even hate the man who brings in the post and that damn woman who lives across the street from..."

Emily kisses her mid-sentence, in part just to shut her up and also because she wanted to prove a point. Her lips curled slightly as she felt Naomi's lips ease into hers.

* * *

><p>When the read-throughs were over, the actual rehearsals were scheduled to take place twice a week, every week for the rest of the summer.<p>

The first rehearsal was gruelling. Midway through they found themselves slumped against each other, shoulder to shoulder, exhausted. It had been a long five hours and the break was well-deserved.

Naomi rested her head on Emily's shoulder, noticeably tired from all the runs Effy was asking them to do.

"You smell like peaches today..."

"What?"

Emily gives her a shy smile. "Your hair smells like peaches."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No... no... It smells... nice."

Naomi winks at her. Later they kiss in an empty storage closet.

* * *

><p>The days they shared in between were spent in complete randomness. Nothing was ever planned. It was easy, laid back, casual. No one was ever pushed or cornered into any sort of commitment, but they met every single day anyway.<p>

Some days were spent in the park, their bodies sprawled on an old blanket, just talking and watching the sky. In the calm that surrounded them they would lay with their shoulders pressed together, and launch into a never ending debate about what animal the cloud which hung above them resembled best. In one particular instance Emily insisted on a porcupine, when Naomi was sure it looked like a parrot.

Other times the two of them would walk together aimlessly, before settling on a hill somewhere to have lunch. Emily usually brought the sandwiches, and Naomi would always bring the wine. Up high and away from prying eyes, they would just spend hours reading, holding hands and then kissing, forgetting about the world completely because they have built their own.

* * *

><p>That summer Emily found a part time job in a quaint little bookstore. It didn't pay much, but the work was easy— just watching the place for a few hours, three days a week. She had always loved books, especially the old ones. To her they held a certain charm that new books didn't have.<p>

On a whim she bought Naomi a copy of _The Great Gatsby_. She wrapped it herself and added a bright red ribbon. Naomi read it over and over again until the spine was battered and the pages were dog eared. Today she read it while keeping Emily company.

"I have the feeling she's in love with you..." she said while stretching out on the grass in Emily's backyard.

"Who?" Emily looked at her quizzically. She was busy inspecting one of the flower patches which have wilted, drooping miserably, and its petals threatening to brown if she didn't do anything about it.

"Alexa." Naomi looks at her and couldn't help but break into a smile. Emily's hands were hidden in ridiculously oversized gardening gloves and her legs were curled underneath her. She looked tiny, like a very attractive garden gnome.

"Don't be absurd," Emily said dismissively, rolling her eyes and turning her attention back to what she was doing.

"I'm serious. She was all over you during rehearsals..."

"She was probably just being friendly."

"Right!" Naomi snapped hotly and went back to reading her book.

There was a long awkward silence before Emily realized what was going on. "Hold on, you're _jealous_?"

Naomi glared at her, "We'll aren't you a little full of yourself."

"You are!" Emily said playfully, her brown eyes growing wide. For once everything about Naomi gave her away; from the softened expression on her face to the way she shrugged miserably, looking defeated. She glances at Emily feebly, and then shifts her eyes hastily to the ground.

"_Oh shut up."_

* * *

><p>Later they found themselves in Emily's bed. The sun had nearly gone and the room was bathed in a vibrant orange hue.<p>

"What are we doing?" Naomi asked so quietly that Emily almost thinks it was her imagination. The answer was so obvious that it makes her giggle with Naomi still on top of her.

"Kissing."

It wasn't as simple that. But they weren't ready to discuss things, not just yet. Neither of them was prepared to burst the quiet little bubble they were floating in. Naomi just sighs and buries her nose into Emily's shoulder before she plants a soft kiss on her cheek.

"You know what I mean."

It takes a second before Emily finally understands that something was wrong, that Naomi wasn't just doing this to be thoughtful, or funny, or even sarcastic. For once she was being completely unguarded, wanting Emily to do the same.

"Don't you like it?" Emily prods, as they lay there with their bodies pressed together.

Naomi can hear Emily's breathing, can feel her body rise and fall with every intake of breath.

"I do," she concedes her fingers absently tracing lines across Emily's arm. "But I'm not— like— I'm not..."

"It's okay." Emily frowns, unable to hide her disappointment.

She tries not to seem so pleased when later Naomi looks up and slowly kisses it away.

* * *

><p>The past few nights Emily had been nothing but edgy and restless, too flighty to get a proper night's rest— it was as if she needed to be held down before sleep took over her entirely.<p>

There was a voice that dwelled inside her head and refused to go away. It haunted her whether she was sitting in silence, or moving through a noisy crowd, drilling the same incessant sense of insecurity into her mind. She was going to lose Naomi it said... _she was going to lose her soon._

Suddenly a terrible feeling washed over her: she was an experiment, a temporary whim that Naomi will eventually grow tired of.

It was enough to make her feel like the joke was on her. Here she was, falling uncontrollably, and Naomi wasn't even sure if she'd take the leap. Emily begins to resent her for being so wonderful all this time. If Naomi hadn't been, perhaps they wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

* * *

><p>"You're gay?" Naomi's alcohol induced words floated through the air. The question came out of nowhere. One minute they were huddled together on the couch watching reruns of <em>Doctor Who<em>, and the next Naomi just decides to blurt it out. It was quite easy really, but it causes Emily Fitch to sputter uncontrollably.

"Well, I... I mean..."

"A simple yes or no will do," Naomi interrupted. She shifted her body slightly so that they were now facing each other.

"Then yes, I think I am." Emily said with such confidence and surprisingly little hesitation that it comes off sounding more like an introduction than anything, "And you?"

"I'm not quite sure..." Naomi let the words drag on, not exactly ready to give a real answer.

"So you don't know yet?" Emily asked with a hint of a smirk, her brown eyes growing wide, a hint of mischief swimming in them.

"Well no, I guess."

"Would you like to find out?" she continued, still smirking.

"How, exactly?"

"Simple. Would you like to take the test?"

For some reason Naomi's heart began pounding madly inside her chest, and she wasn't sure whether it was out of fear or excitement. For a second she wonders if Emily had gone mad.

There was a short pause before she finally managed to find the words.

"Fuck it... fine I will." she said, raising the bottle of vodka she was holding to Emily as if to congratulate her for successfully wearing her down.

Emily eyes what Naomi was wearing: a skirt cut a few inches above the knee, her top loose, with a wide neck. It tended to slide towards one shoulder, exposing her collarbone. It causes Emily to swallow, hard. "Well, I'm going to kiss you... obviously, and all you have to do is tell me is whether you like it or not. Easy."

"On the lips?" Naomi asked.

"Well, we've done that already haven't we? So I was thinking..." Emily inched forward; she met Naomi's eyes for a second before leaning into her neck. Naomi felt Emily's warm breath dance across her skin and the soft touch of her lips glide against the side of her neck, just above the shoulder. She was overcome by a wave of something... lightning, fire, electricity... coursing through her body. She was starting to think this game had gone out of hand, too much even for her to handle.

"Ems, we should—"

Her voice caught in her throat as soon as Emily placed a hand on her thigh to keep herself steady. She was about to protest again when instead a soft gasp escaped her lips. Emily had placed a second light kiss slightly higher on her neck, below her ear. It made her tremble, arms locked at her sides unable to move. A feeling of helplessness washed over her, she was no longer in control.

The heat from Emily's body, the intoxicating scent of her shampoo, and the tenderness of her lips— all of it made her body feel incredibly warm before it was followed by a nervous, tingly cold.

Emily pulled away from her neck and returned seconds later on the opposite side, kissing Naomi's skin a third time. She felt Emily's hair brush against her cheek and the soft whisper of her breath near her ear. She squeezes her eyes shut, her breathing now ragged from the mixture of shock and pleasure she was experiencing from such a small, simple act.

Just as she thought she could take no more, Emily stops. She raises her head back up and took a long sweeping glance at Naomi, still maintaining the closeness between them.

"Well," she began, in a slightly huskier voice, "did you like it?"

Naomi staggered a little; feeling like her limbs had now turned into jelly. She tried desperately to calm her herself down. She racked her mind for the appropriate response.

"I... I..."

Emily grins, _"A simple yes or no will do."_


	8. Chapter 8: Heart

**Hello! I'm sorry this took a while to update... I was so busy the past few weeks that I couldn't find the time to write. So now of course I'm posting a**_** long**_** chapter to make up for it.**

**Thank you so much for reading this and for leaving such wonderful reviews. They are all really humbling and heartwarming, and I appreciate each and every single one :)**

* * *

><p><strong>The Audition<strong>

A look of confusion crosses Naomi's face as she grasped for the words that would put everything neatly away. She bites her lip and pouts when she discovers there were none.

"Emily..." she starts, but nothing else followed, or at least nothing she could say out loud. Much to her disappointment her razor sharp wit and heavily barbed tact had gone. They had somewhat been dulled by the alcohol coursing through her veins and the fresh memory of Emily's lips pressing wonderfully across her throat, then to her collar bone leading down to her shoulder. She had to admit it made for a deadly combination. Her usual, calm resolve has now been replaced by uncontrollable shaking, and a ceaseless fluttering in the pit of her stomach. It was very frustrating to say the least.

"What have you done to me?" she shakes her head and stares at Emily accusingly.

Instead of taking it badly Emily laughs— and really she expects Naomi to start laughing too, waits for one those random burst of giggles to arrive, the kind which they break into hysterically for no particular reason. Instead, she feels Naomi's palm resting on her jaw, curling her fingers around the back of her neck and using her thumb to hold her still.

Emily stops laughing.

With a very determined look, Naomi calmly tilts her face up, pulls her closer and kisses her. She was exact about it, methodical almost— she starts slowly, working her lips against Emily's, coaxing her mouth to open ever so slightly with a few languid motions. And then Emily was pushing back, not even trying to resist, as she opens her mouth completely and tangles her breath with Naomi's, who tasted just like the wine she drank, sanguine and sweet, delectable.

All of a sudden Naomi lets out a whimper and shoves Emily unintentionally rough against the cushions. While on top, she became aware of how small Emily's frame was. Something took over her then; an urge she couldn't quite handle. She twists her hand on Emily's shirt, grabbing a fistful of the fabric at the hem and runs her fingers across Emily's hip bone. It was small and delicate just like everything else about Emily and the small act causes her to nip at Naomi's lower lip harder than she usually would. They continue for a few minutes more until Naomi finally pulls away.

"There," she said, her breath hot on Emily's ear.

Emily blinks at her, stunned. Naomi's hand, she realizes was still on her jaw, and as the thumb moved, grazing across her cheekbones, Emily hears Naomi's breath hitch. It causes an involuntary shiver to course run down her spine. This was getting out of hand.

"Naoms," she says softly while resting their foreheads together. Their lips were close, hovering only mere centimetres apart, both of them panting from the lack of oxygen, "You know I'm all for this," her eyes focused on Naomi's lips before slowly sweeping down her body, "but if you don't stop with all this hot-and-cold nonsense, I may have to kill you."

Naomi snorts before she can help herself, and says "I'd like to see you try."

"Okay." Emily replies slyly, her hands moving under Naomi's top, deftly grasping at the hem and tugging it upward and off. Naomi giggles and tries to pry Emily's hands away but ultimately lets them linger on her skin, not one trace of hesitation on her face. She wraps her arms around Emily and presses their lips together, pulling her closer, their bodies sinking into the couch.

"Are you sure?" Emily asks as politely as she can while straddling Naomi's hips.

Naomi just nods wordlessly. She glances up to see Emily smile one last time before she lowered herself a little closer. She reaches out to run her fingers through Emily's hair and lets out a sigh as the strands twists into loose red waves.

They exchanged smiles for a second and then she was cradling Emily's face in her hands, kissing her softly, her thumbs stroking Emily's cheeks. Naomi decides right then to surrender herself completely, reassures herself silently that she could always fight again tomorrow.

It was the soundest choice she's made in ages.

* * *

><p>When Naomi wakes up she heads for the kitchen. She cooks breakfast at three in the afternoon, much to Emily's amusement.<p>

"What are we having?" Emily asks, pouring orange juice into a glass, in just her bra and knickers. With a little effort she manages to stand on her tippy toes without spilling a single drop, and then kisses Naomi's nape as a form of greeting. It causes her breath to snag for a second but somehow she manages to wink at Emily all the same.

"Bacon, eggs, toast..." She says as she grabs the glass from Emily and takes a sip.

"Can I help?"

Naomi bites her lip as she takes in Emily's disheveled form. She considers the idea for a moment before ultimately sending her away. This was partly because she didn't need any help, but mostly because Emily was barely dressed, and it was absolutely distracting.

By the time Emily reappears in pyjama bottoms and a tight tank top, the kitchen was already filled with the inviting smell of butter and coffee. She smiles, not because of the food or the fact that someone was cooking for her, but because and purely because it was Naomi.

She walks over just as the eggs were being set down on the counter and kisses Naomi thoroughly. It was soft, but self-assured and she feels Naomi's tall, slender frame relax into her arms. Emily kisses her once, then again, grazing her bottom lip briefly before finally letting their tongues meet. Naomi's hands grab onto her hair pulling her closer and closer, pushing them further and further backwards until Emily is left with no choice but to grab onto the edges of the kitchen counter.

As soon as they pull apart Naomi feels light headed. She licks her lips, "What was that for?"

"Nothing... just wanted to say good afternoon."

"G-good afternoon?" She repeats dumbly. The whole thing leaves her flustered; an uncharacteristic girlish laugh escaping her lips. She takes a step back, all flushed and smiling. Unable to come up with anything coherent to say she goes back to preparing the food.

Emily felt a jolt rushing through hefr body, a high like other. Naomi was now a happy little mess because of what had just happened; all giddy and incapable of stringing together two syllables, and she, Emily Fitch was responsible for it!

In the background she heard something searing, and then crackle before the smell of bacon wafted in the air.

Emily felt ecstatic as she watched Naomi move about, she was so happy in fact that she wanted to dance around the room like a bloody caveman. It made her feel invincible somehow, this power— it turned her on.

Suddenly a brief image of Naomi writhing beneath her flashes uncontrollably through her mind, igniting sparks that shot to her fingertips and all the way to her toes. It makes her knees wobble and she tightens her grip on the kitchen counter just to keep from falling over.

They ate together in silence, smiling and not really caring about much else. Everything felt familiar somehow, like they've done this sort of thing a dozen times before. It's probably really idiotic, but it feels like home to Emily. She can't quite figure out why exactly, but it does.

* * *

><p>The next few days were pure bliss. Life all of a sudden seemed exciting somehow. It was nothing big in particular but rather little, normal, everyday things. Getting out of bed. Getting dressed. Having breakfast. Brushing teeth— It all seemed new in a way.<p>

Sometimes Emily finds herself thinking how beautiful the sky is even though it was impossibly cloudy out, or that it was the perfect time to take a stroll even though it was raining dreadfully. Nothing got to her really. A tornado could pass by her house right this instant and she'd still think everything was lovely.

It has gotten to the point where she was afraid that Naomi might say "Good morning," and she answers with "I love you."

She swears sometimes that Naomi wants to say it too, but of course she never does.

* * *

><p>"What would you do if somebody literally broke your heart?" They were sitting across from each other one sunny afternoon; Emily sipping tea, legs crossed as Naomi shot the question.<p>

"Literally broke it? I don't even think that's possible."

Naomi thought about it and realized that Emily had a point. Hearts weren't made of glass; they don't actually shatter, and turn into tiny shards for someone to pick up and fuse back together. Hearts are dense, fibrous and probably sturdy from pumping all that blood in and out of one's system.

"Tore then." She says, rolling her eyes as she corrected herself.

The absurdity of the whole thing made Emily laugh despite her best efforts to stay focused. She knew Naomi still wanted an answer, and when she finally manages to calm herself down she sees those blue eyes staring right at her, waiting expectantly.

She looks away for a moment and scratches her head as if the answer would arrive faster if she did.

"I would…" she begins, before cutting her sentence short and letting her thoughts trail off; she bites her lip and tries again. This was one of the things Naomi loved best about Emily; she always did her best to answer, regardless of how bizarre or utterly stupid the question turned out to be.

"I suppose I would probably do my best to stitch it back together. Or freeze it…"

"But then it wouldn't work properly."

"What?"

"Your heart… If you freeze it, you'd have to keep it frozen to keep it from falling apart."

"Exactly."

* * *

><p>Before Naomi can stop herself, she had fallen. It was inevitable really but still...<p>

In her mind she pictures standing at the mouth of a cliff somewhere, with sharp, ominous rocks waiting for her below. She knows what is there but she takes a step forward anyway.

A deep sigh escapes her, and her lungs inflate. She tries to shake the dread away because it couldn't be, just simply couldn't, and for a while she is fine, she regains control. She grabs her jacket, and her over-sized bag, rummages inside to check for her keys. But on her way out she catches a glimpse of herself— a faint reflection on the window staring plainly back at her—she couldn't quite believe what she sees.

She bites the inside of her cheek, and inhales sharply.

"Christ." She mutters, but she walks out the door all the same.

She remembers pretending that she wasn't looking the first time she saw Emily. She was very careful about it, making sure that her eyes didn't linger too long and that her face showed as little interest as possible.

She heard there were twins in her year. Heard the name Fitch floating around when they were calling the rolls during assembly.

When they introduced themselves for the first time in class, her eyes barely glanced up to see red hair and a small, compact frame accompanying it and that was all really. It took perhaps just a second or two, nothing more.

And yet she could remember the white blouse Emily wore, and the red dotted pattern which matched her hair. She wore it under a grey cardigan with a matching skirt. And her shoes were ballet flats; they were a black.

But of course, she wasn't looking. Not really.

And then a thought pops into her head:_ Love at first sight._

It was one of the few things she and Emily agreed on completely. It didn't exist. There was just no way. It's not supposed to be possible because a person can't just look at someone and feel something as rich and complicated as love, at least not yet. Not at first.

But the more Naomi thought about it, the more she understood that these sorts of things work in mysterious ways, like when you look at a person you feel this pull... _this magnetism_. It is more than mere attraction or lust, it went beyond that.

It's this feeling of knowing the person is different from the rest. Like knowing that it's not a spark but a blaze, or like running as far away as humanly possible but ending up in the same place. That's what she felt the first time she saw Emily. (Or didn't see... Whatever.)

* * *

><p>One of life's worst ironies is that the heart doesn't care.<p>

It isn't concerned about self-preservation or saving face. It just beats despite your best efforts to make it slow or stop.

The heart never listens, even if you tell it to… Even if you pleaded, begged and bribed… Not even if you screamed at the top your lungs, not even if you whispered under your breath.

_Never._

_'You don't love her,'_ Naomi informs herself. It was about 4:30 in the morning and she was sitting alone in the kitchen with her coffee untouched.

A strange silence settles around her. It gave her a better chance to think… and it didn't take too long for her to realize that she hated it.

She sighs into her coffee. Today, she woke up so early it scared her. She wasn't exactly what you'd call a morning person, much less a dawn person, but she couldn't coax herself back to sleep. She couldn't shake the feeling away.

"You don't love her," she repeats. But the heart never listens. Her heart never did. In fact it was stubborn, most good hearts are. They never grasp the logical; they cling onto anything which makes them beat. Her heart in particular was clutching onto Emily, with no sign of letting go.

* * *

><p>The next two days of rehearsal were grueling. Effy makes them do scene after scene demanding nothing short of perfection.<p>

"Tilt your head to the right Josh." She says critically, as if she were instructing him to move furniture.

"Should I hold her hip or should I—"

"Yeah, yeah, that's good. You should hold her hip." Effy agreed before scribbling it down. Josh does as he is told and pulls Emily closer, his hand resting on her right hip.

"Remember not to lean into it so much this time, okay? The audience can't see Emily's face if you do."

"Right." He shoots Emily an apologetic glance before mumbling the instructions back to himself.

Emily couldn't help but think how stupid this was, how technicality can take away the beauty in the most breathtaking of things, even something as wonderful as a kiss.

"Do you still need me for anything?" Naomi asks just as Josh stepped closer, blocking Emily's line of sight.

Effy looks at Naomi expressionless, "No, you can go."

"Great."

Emily blinks rapidly as she watched Naomi wave goodbye.

"Problem?" Effy asks her, quirking an eyebrow.

"No, nothing."

"You seem distracted."

"I'm fine Effy," she says not really bothering to hide the strain in her voice, her eyes still fixed on Naomi's retreating form as she disappeared slowly from view.

* * *

><p>They don't talk about it, although Emily was certainly dying to. She figures after a while that it was all in her mind. That maybe she had made a big deal out of something that was actually nothing... that it was probably just a simple case of Naomi being tired and worn out, and perhaps she wasn't really trying to run away. What mattered was they were together right now, resting contentedly in Naomi's bed, their arms and legs tangled together lazily.<p>

Emily looked around, she loved Naomi's bedroom. She loved the walls and rug on the floor, loved the curtains and the lights strung over the window. It fascinated her how everything spoke about Naomi, like every poster, every picture, and every book clued her in to the kind of person she really was. Emily found herself smiling, little by little she was beginning to understand.

Beneath the sheets she wrapped her arms around Naomi's waist, kisses her neck gently and silently wished that it will never end.

"You're still going to kiss him aren't you?" Naomi asks conversationally as she props herself up on her elbow.

Emily looked at her wondering what was racing through her mind. She sighs and sits by the edge of the bed; it was time to get up.

"Well," she bent down to reach for her top, "I have to Naoms."

"No you don't."

"What?"

"I mean, you could always back out of the play..."

Emily raised an eyebrow, ready to unleash a witty quip but holds it back at the last second when she realizes that Naomi was seriously suggesting this.

"You want me to?"

"No, of course not... I— I dunno." She sighs, "Forget it."

Naomi coughs to clear her head. Out of habit she brushes her nose with her fingertips before standing up and searching for something to wear on the messy floor. She spends at least half an hour cursing herself for being such a jealous prick, and spends at least another vowing never to do it again. But the funny thing was Emily would have done it for her— gladly even, if only she had asked.

* * *

><p><em>It's human nature to doubt human nature when we're happy. Things just don't work out. It does for a while, and then it's lost.<em> Effy made them write it down during rehearsals that afternoon.

She could still remember the look on Emily's face when it happened, warm brown eyes begging her not to believe.

They talk about it on the way home, "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Emily challenges.

Naomi let out a something that closely resembled a laugh if only it didn't sound so pained. "I think Effy's right."

"Well, I thought it was a bunch of rubbish." Emily huffed while kicking a small rock that happened to be in the way. Naomi squeezed her hand without Emily squeezing back.

"Well, it's natural to meet people, and to lose them. Even if you stay together for a very long time, death takes the person away."

Naomi knew she sounded dark and pessimistic right then, but it was the truth. It was something Emily needed to hear.

"Nothing ever lasts forever. Not our minds, our hearts or our bodies. We decay. We're decaying right this moment." She feels Emily's fingers trying to wiggle out of her grasp. Somehow she had hit a nerve and she had no idea how to fix it.

"Well that's fucking fantastic isn't it?"

"Em... please don't—"

"You don't believe in forever?"

"No."

"No exceptions?"

"None."

"What about feelings? Do you believe in those?"

"Of course I believe in feelings—"

"Do you believe in love?"

Naomi didn't know what to say to that one. Her first thought was, _'No, I don't'_, but that wasn't true. She thought it was possible, yes, yet she was so cynical she didn't believe that it happened much. That was her problem, she took love too seriously and too lightly all in the same breath.

People say it too much. 'I love you' slips past their lips and their thoughts too easily. But then she gets to the part where she contradicts herself, as she so often did these days.

The truth was she fell in love easily. Not with human beings of course, but she fell in love with simple things, like for instance a character in a book, or a beautiful line from a poem, a noble cause, a good conversation, or the twinkling of stars at night, and the feeling she got whenever she rode a bicycle, the wind blowing against her face, her hair whipping behind her… She fell in love so often that her head spins and her heart spasms. But this isn't love, is it? Not the kind the Emily was asking about.

Because love— true love— was messy and heavy and consuming... So terrifying that she doesn't think she'll ever allow herself to fall, even if perhaps she already has.

She looked up at Emily, finally, who was starting to look worried from the all the weighty silence and she answers her simply, untruthfully,_ "I don't know."_

There was a beat before Emily says, "I can't do this with you anymore Naomi." And she looks at her with so much sadness that it makes everything seem unbearable. For a moment Emily feels her heart throb and she wonders why it was still there.

With a tug she tries to take her hand back from Naomi. A bright, hot burst of anger prickled through her skin. She had reached her breaking point it seems, and she couldn't take any more. As she moved she is vaguely aware of the fingernails pressing into her skin, trying to keep her in place. It surprises her that just for once Naomi was the one trying to hold on.

Stale air hung above them, a dreadful silence. It was the type of silence which crushed hopes, thwarted dreams. Emily hated silence.

"Please let me go." She pleads, her shoulders falling and her voice shaky.

Naomi did as she was told and said nothing more. She didn't trust herself to speak. She knew if she said one word, the lump in her throat would swell almost as big as her heart and then she'd be crying, sobbing despite herself. But the tears came anyway.

* * *

><p>Moments later Naomi was alone. She heard the sound of gravel crunching beneath her feet, and the distant hum of people talking. The streets seemed eerily bare tonight. She was alone, and for the first time the gravity of situation hits her harder than a brick wall.<p>

'I am dreaming', she thought in panic, 'I am dreaming'.

She kept walking unaware of the tears spilling from her eyes. She reassures herself that any minute now she'll wake up safe in her warm bed and everything will be okay.

But even she didn't believe herself. Not anymore.

* * *

><p>When Emily awoke she was greeted by a strange empty feeling. It was oddly calm today as streaks of light peaked through her curtains, and stabbed into the room hurting her eyes. She lay there, completely still for a few minutes staring at the ceiling. She wonders if she were ever going to get up at all.<p>

She had cried herself to sleep last night. It hurt to blink, even more painful to breath. Her face was puffy, and her eye sockets felt deformed and waterlogged, as though any minute now her eyes were going to fall out.

She turns on her side and scrolls through her phone. There was one missed call from Katie, at least 5 from her mother, text messages from Cook and JJ.

And none from...

She sighs and goes back to bed.

* * *

><p>They don't see each other until Saturday rehearsals roll by. Emily arrived late but sat next to her anyway. She didn't have much of a choice really since all the other seats were taken; still to Naomi it meant something somehow.<p>

As the minutes tick away she discovers how painful it was... sitting beside someone you desperately wanted to talk to, and the words just hang above you.

It seemed that every moment was the perfect opportunity to say something, to fix what had broken, to undo the damage that had been done... until finally the other person gets up, looks at you and walks away.

* * *

><p>It was all fucked up, her life.<p>

She's been a real bitch lately. It used to be all pretend but now even she hated herself. Today she got into an argument with her mother, had heated disagreements with random people at the grocers and managed to make one of the house borders cry. It wasn't really their fault. She was the problem. The annoyance that she felt for them was really just the annoyance that she felt for herself.

She wished she could start over from scratch. It would have been wonderful if she could just take her bones and flesh and create someone completely different. Lately she hated the words that spew from her mouth, sometimes too harsh that even she was surprised by the scars they left behind.

She realized that she couldn't be with anyone. No one would take her. No matter how many times she reconstructed herself, she'll never be the type of person who was meant for someone else... especially not someone as wonderful as Emily.

* * *

><p>When Cook takes Emily out dancing he doesn't ask questions. He just shoots her a worried glance as she gulps down what seemed like her tenth drink and moves clumsily towards the bar to get her eleventh.<p>

"Whoa..." he says, blocking the way, "let's go Emilio."

"One more." she slurs, a determined look plastered on her face.

"I don't think you need any more."

"You said we were going to party!"

"Oh we've partied alright," he says as if he were talking to a five year old child, it was funny really, coming from him, but Emily wasn't laughing. She didn't have time to react actually because Cook was literally dragging her out of her club. In an attempt to put up a fight she curled her toes into her shoes and tried to keep her feet firmly on the floor, but it in the end it was all in vain.

"Come on," he says anxiously, "JJ's already outside."

* * *

><p>By the time Emily wakes up she barely remembers the night before. She groans into a pillow and regrets it almost immediately. Her eyes refused to open, the lids seemingly stapled shut. She tries to swallow but she realizes that her mouth was incredibly dry; suddenly she gets the very distinct feeling that if she so much as breathed, she will, undoubtedly throw up.<p>

Five minutes later she found herself hunched over a marble bowl, hurling everything she drank last night, and she thinks, perhaps some of her intestines as well.

"You okay?" Cook asks with a tilt of his head.

She nods and groans inwardly."I feel like shite."

"You'll feel better, don't fret." He walks over and awkwardly pats her back. He sits there patiently, waiting before she feels well enough to stand; he flushes the bowl, pulls her up to her feet and guides her near the tub telling her to hold on. Emily feels lucky to see this side of Cook, so sweet, so gentle, so caring—

"Don't look babes; I'm going to take a piss."

* * *

><p><em>"What are you doing?"<em> Naomi mumbles to herself as she approached the door. She stood there for a second, wondering if this was the right thing to do, then takes a deep breath and knocks.

"Hi."

"Naomi?"

"Effy said you were sick." She explains awkwardly, unable to look Emily in the eye.

"She did?" she asked sniffling. Apparently her hangover turned into a cold, which three hours later magically transformed into a fever.

Naomi merely nods. She rolls her eyes as if it were the most painful thing to say what she was about to say next, "I had to run lines with Alexa."

When she hears Emily laugh she realizes how much she's missed it.

"I brought you food." She holds a paper bag close to Emily's face and hopes it was enough to make Emily feel like inviting her in.

"Thank you." She cracks the door open and motions for Naomi to follow her.

"What are you wearing?" Naomi laughs despite herself. Like watching fainting goats or polar bears slip off the ice. She couldn't help it. Emily was walking around the house with a blanket wrapped around her, so long that it looked like a cape.

"I got cold okay?" Emily said rather defensively, her face turning red as she pulled the blanket around herself more tightly.

Naomi watches as Emily flops herself down on the couch and sets the food on the coffee table. She sits beside her reluctantly, and pours herself a glass of what looked like lemonade.

"You're not going to like that," Emily warns trying to grab the drink away from her. When Naomi ignores this she adds, "Trust me."

"It's just a drink, Emily," Naomi murmurs, taking a sip, "how bad could it possibly—oh Christ, that's repulsive!"

Emily laughs as Naomi wipes her lips with her sleeve, a disgusted expression on her face as she glares down at the glass like it's betrayed her.

"What the hell is that?" she shudders, "Ugh, it's like someone mixed grape fruit juice with raw eggs and rat poison—"

"Oh it's not that bad," Emily says, taking the glass from her. "Cook made it; it's supposed to cure hangovers."

And then, just because she can, she smirks and downs the entire glass, swallowing with one gulp.

"How can you drink that?" Naomi asks looking stunned and horrified. Emily shrugs.

"Practice?" she offers. "I've been drinking it a lot lately."

"Oh." Naomi takes a deep breath as a sharp surge of guilt washes over her. She rolls her shoulders back uncomfortably and says something she meant to say sooner, "I'm really sorry Em."

"I know."

* * *

><p>When Emily wakes up it was already dark. She stretches slightly and discovers that her face was now pressed against a pillow, and her body was wrapped in a blanket much thicker than the one she had before. She grins but couldn't quite recall bringing it downstairs with her.<p>

"You're up?" She hears Naomi say, her voice gentle and soft.

"How long was I out?" She sits up wearily and feels her body sway a little.

"A couple hours. How do you feel?"

"Horrible," she admits. "But slightly better, I suppose."

"Your fever's gone down a little," Naomi replies, quirking a faint smile.

"Naoms?"

"Yes?"

"Can you stay a little longer?"

"Sure."

* * *

><p>The truth was all she wanted was someone who can sit her down, shut her up, tell her things she didn't already know, and make her laugh. It was very simple. She didn't really care about much else. All she knew was that when she found someone who could do that, she would gladly walk on bloody stumps through the snow, cross the Sahara Dessert barefoot, dive off an airplane a hundred feet off the ground, sweep the floor, wash the dishes, and do the windows too... anything. She would even listen, she would actually care about someone else's feelings for once.<p>

"You have freckles on the back of your neck," Emily informs her, resisting the urge to trace her fingers along Naomi's skin.

"I'm so glad I know that vital piece information now," Naomi replied dryly. And though she was facing away, Emily could tell from her tone that she had just rolled her eyes.

"But you could have gone through your whole life not knowing. You can't see the back of your neck."

"I could have asked someone or taken a picture... "

"But would you have? Would you even have wondered?"

"Probably not," She admits as she turns to face Emily.

"But now you know. Now you know a little bit more about yourself."

"Well.." and that's when she blurted it out... "I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
